Guest Blog: MARIO ACEVEDO

It’s with great pleasure I introduce Mario to the Emporium. He’s fabulous . . . never read an email him with something in your mouth. It will inevitably come out of your nose. He’s hilarious and the books are fantastic–I love me some Felix. Rawr! So here goes . . . Mario Acevedo!

The Writer’s Life, a Cocktail of Friends and Alcohol.

I first met Nicole Peeler at a clothing-optional writer’s workshop.  Afterwards, Nicole told me it was too flaccid.  My work, she meant.

My fifth book is out, which means I’ve been at this writing biz as a professional for four years.  We all expect great things from getting published.  Piles of money for one.  That happens for a few.  Other writers fizzle out right away and disappear.  The rest of us die-hard scribes slog along as mid-list authors, trying our best to survive.

But what I didn’t expect and what surprised me was meeting and becoming friends with my fellow writers, strangers at first.  One popular misconception is that writers are introverted hermits toiling away in an attic or basement.  Once in a while they’re prodded out for book tours and they squint mole-like at the sun before slinking away in search of a drink.

Actually I’ve found writers to be the opposite.  Almost unanimously they’re gregarious and generous.  Most of us realize that our success is a matter of hard work and luck.  There are a few writers–insufferable wretches, the toe fungus of the publishing industry–who act as though they’ve been anointed by a Higher Power to deliver the printed word.  Usually these writers blend in with the normal good people but occasionally they give themselves away.  When they do, we have a special name for them: microphone hogs.  The next time you’re at an author’s panel and there is one writer who slobbers all over the mike and barely acknowledges the other panelists, that person is the insufferable wretch, a.k.a. the microphone hog, a.k.a. the windbag asshole.

Another popular misconception is that writers are backbiting helots.  Again, untrue.  We authors band together in online tribes.  We watch out for one another; if there’s an opportunity we pass along a mention.  If there’s a snake in the grass, we shout a warning.  This doesn’t mean we don’t talk smack about one another.   We do.  As much as possible.  For example, I know things about Nicole that would make a prison warden blush.  And I respect Nicole too much to give details other than to say I have pictures for sale and I accept PayPal.

However, there is one perception about writers that is very true.  We like to drink.  A lot.  My first writers’ conference as a professional was the 2006 Bouchercon in Madison, WI.  Voted the most walkable city in America.  Which means the bars are within stumbling distance.  Because of that experience, I’ve held mystery writers in awe.  My heroes.  Since then I’ve branched out to other genre conferences and while I certainly wouldn’t call fantasy writers lightweights around the bottle, mystery writers remained the grand potentates of partiers.

Until my first Romantic Times conference.  Who would’ve thought these bitchy lushes masquerading as college professors and suburban housewives could’ve hip-checked mystery writers off the barstool of honor?  To be fair, some of these writers were ringers, mystery authors doing double duty.

And my team was the urban fantasy scribblers, appropriately named the League of Reluctant Adults, who guzzled the booze like thirsty mudcats.  These women writers brought to Romantic Times an expertise missing at the other cons.  Erotica.  Porn by and for women.  Add booze.  See what you get.

One memorable bacchanal was the public reading of sex-drenched pages.  Civilians–i.e., non-writers–crept close to soak up the 100 proof filth.  Judging by their sweaty faces and twitchy fingers, we didn’t disappoint.

Which brings us full circle to the queen of sweaty faces and twitchy fingers: Nicole Peeler.  Buy her book.  Support her snark.

Happy fanging.

Mario Acevedo

His latest book, WEREWOLF SMACKDOWN, is on the prowl.  Your best hope for salvation is to buy a copy…or better yet, several.

http://www.marioacevedo.com

And now for the CONTEST! To win a copy of Werewolf Smackdown, answer me the following, in comments:

Felix doesn’t consume his blood the “normal” way for a vampire. Rather, his sanguinary consumption often occurs in the form of enchiladas with a very special red sauce. What do YOU think is a good recipe/type of food to serve as a culinary vehicle for blood? Por ejemplo (see Mario! Spanish!), Blood a la Mode! (I’m wikked bilingual people. Wikkid.) Winners will be pulled from the Contest Can next WEDNESDAY, just in time to announce my NEXT CONTEST.

Cuz I heard Sabina Kane’s in town . . . And she does so enjoy the Emporium . . .

Posted by Nicole Peeler

Author, Professor, Lover, Fighter

40 thoughts on “Guest Blog: MARIO ACEVEDO”

  1. chocolate and blood– All the way! That is why I choose hot molten bloody choc. cake. Which is a chocolate cake (HOT) filled with blood fudge. how is that? =)

  2. For the contest : Being southern and loven Fried foods, I would say fried green tomato with a rue of B positive for dipping sauce, served with a side of chicken clotted livers and a glass of Plasma Watermelon wine, dessert would be.. fang watering, hemoglobin cherry pie, hmm hope I did this right lol,

  3. Blood Sunday. Hmmm, imagine cold, creamy ice cream drizzled (saturated) with bright red blood. Makes your fangs ache, don't it?

  4. How about Cherry Cobbler? or Strawberry Cheesecake with "syrup" dressing?

    I have found writers online to be very nice and friendly. Can't say about the drinking part so I'll take Mario's word on that. Sounds like he had a good time with the LRA!

  5. How about Berry Bloody Jelly Bellys?

    And if you've had too many onions and need some halitosis assistance, there's always Freshen Up Bublegum: The Gum That Squirts–BLOOD! (Sangria Flavored, of course!)

  6. You chose enchiladas over nachos? Bad Mario – go sit in the corner and repent for what you've done! 😉

    There is an English food (if you can call it that) by the name of blood pudding. Or is it blood sausage? Either way, it's shaped like a wang. There's either blood in it, or an accompanying blood sauce 😉

  7. Don't enter me in the contest, I bought my copy of "Smackdown" (and read it!) already. It's awfully good. 😀

    Anyway, obviously, any Italian dish with tomato sauce would work just fine, but the Germans make an excellent blood sausage Felix could really sink his teeth into (hee hee).

  8. Great guest column, and I am taking notes for when I attend my first convention. Note: take video camera…watch for Nicole. *snicker*

    I'd have to go with Salsa and a big bowl of spicy gazpacho!

  9. Peach Melba – instead of Raspberry sauce over peaches and ice cream it would be blood.

    Or for the winter months in a delicious doughnut instead of the jam. You just have to make them with sprinkles though to make sure nobody else got the blood-filled ones by accident.

  10. I think shrimp ceviche would be good w/ blood because the lime would blend well. Maybe even chicken mole, you know the kind made w/ chocolate and no peanuts. It would probably blend perfectly into the sauce. Or birria de chivo, the kind my BFF's mom makes. And now I'm hungry. Wah. Which sucks because I'm about a thousand miles away from anywhere I could get a decent mole or birria. 🙁

  11. Ingredients

    4 medium corn tortillas

    Peanut oil, for deep-frying

    Salsa Sangre Roja, recipe follows

    Chorizo Refried Beans, recipe follows

    4 large eggs, fried sunny side up

    Garnish:

    1 cup crumbled queso fresco

    Fresh cilantro sprigs

    Fried chorizo (reserved from Refried Beans recipe)

    4 lime wedges

    Directions

    Heat about 3 inches of peanut oil, in a heavy-bottomed pot to 375 degrees F. Preheat the broiler. Fry the tortillas for 30 to 40 seconds until crisp. Remove with a slotted spoon to paper towels to drain. Dip the tortillas into the Salsa Sangre Roja while still hot, using tongs, and then transfer to serving plates. Top each tortilla with a good spoonful of refried beans and then arrange a sunny side up fried egg on top of the beans. Garnish with crumbled queso fresco, Salsa Roja, cilantro, fried chorizo and lime wedges.

    Salsa Sangre Roja:

    1 dried ancho chile, stemmed and seeded

    1 dried Anaheim chile, stemmed and seeded

    2 dried chipotle chiles, stemmed and seeded

    1 tablespoon dried oregano, preferably Mexican

    1 tablespoon cumin seeds

    1 tablespoon coriander seeds

    1 cup O+ human blood

    8 plum tomatoes, quartered

    1 medium Spanish onion, sliced

    3 garlic cloves

    3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

    Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

    2 sprigs cilantro

    1 tablespoon sugar

    1 lime, juiced

    Tear all the chiles into large pieces and toast them in a large dry skillet over medium heat until they change color a bit, about 2 minutes. Add the spices and continue to toast for 2 to 3 minutes until everything is fragrant. Remove from heat and allow to cool. Ccarefully add about 1 cup of O+ human blood to just cover the chiles. Be careful to avoid congealing.

    Preheat the broiler. Put the quartered tomatoes, sliced onion, and whole garlic cloves onto a roasting tray, spreading out evenly. Drizzle with plenty of olive oil and season well with salt and pepper and sprinkle with cilantro sprigs. Broil until everything is nicely charred, about 10 minutes (you want lots of deep rich color so don't be afraid if some of the edges get pretty black).

    Add the human blood/chile mixture to a blender and puree. Remove the tomato/onion mixture from the roasting pan and carefully add it to the blender, (it will be hot). Blend until smooth (you may need to work in 2 batches). Once everything is pureed, pour the mixture back into the pot over low heat adding a little water if the salsa is too thick. Stir in the sugar and lime juice and season with salt and pepper, to taste. Set aside until ready to use.

    Chorizo Refried Beans:

    4 links smoked Mexican chorizo

    1 sliced human heart

    1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil

    1/4 white onion, finely diced

    2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped

    2 (15.5 ounce) cans red kidney beans

    1 to 2 cups low-sodium chicken stock

    Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

    Finely chop the chorizo into small dice. In a heavy-bottomed pot add olive oil, human heart, and chorizo. Put the pot over low heat and slowly bring the heat up to medium. Fry the heart/chorizo for a few minutes to infuse the olive oil. Using a slotted spoon remove about 1/4 cup of mixture, for garnish, and set aside. To the remaining heart and chorizo in the pot add the onion and garlic and fry until both are cooked, about 2 minutes. Add the beans with their liquid and stock and simmer to allow the flavors to come together about 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Use a potato masher to mash the beans into a coarse puree. Alternatively, you could let the beans cool for about 5 minutes and carefully puree in a food processor until smooth. Set aside until ready to use.

  12. I think an excellent culinary vehicle for serving blood is a Cosmopolitan (actually anything in a martini glass will suffice)…but I'm all about the liquid meals.

  13. If you're eating and want to use the blood as a sauce, I'd try:

    –mixing it in a good mole sauce, it will thicken properly.

    –add a little heavy cream, whip it in the mixer, and pour over pasta

    For a drink, one could create the Truly Bloody Marianne.

    Re: the post — you can meet some great people at conferences. I've noticed the same thing among writers as I learned working with actors: the truly good ones, with long-term careers are generally the most generous. It's the ones who are on the hangnail of talent, who are lucky but not that good, and, deep down, they know it, who turn insecure and bitchy.

  14. I would have to say try to get something like Ensure / Boost or even Slim Fast but instead of chocolate or strawberry flavors there can be B+, B-, A+, A-, and O. This would be more for your on-the-go type of vampire. The drinks can come straight out of the can or put it in a cup to warm it up! And there could even be a line of drinks that the vampire can drink healthy people or enjoy the blood of the more obese humans. (Since fats are what make food taste better!!!) And even on those hot summer nights these drinks could be put into the freezer for a blood slushy, LOL. Cant wait to start reading your series Mario- I have X-rated Nyphos at home just wanting to be read!

    Have a good night to all the blood suckers!

  15. RT @NicolePeeler: You've got until tomorrow to enter the contest to win Werewolf Smackdown & read Mario's filthy lies about me…http:// …

  16. You guys are AMAZING! I love all of these comments! Granted, some made me a little nauseous yet paradoxically hungry with their detail (Thom!) but they were all AWESOME.

    Thanks for playing! The contest can (after picking the very last person who commented on the last contest) picked the very first person, Kayla B! Email me at iheartselkies (at) gmail (daht) com with your address and I'll have the book shipped right to you!

    And don't forget to enter today's contest! YAY!

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