Great Philosophers (and at Least One Author) who Failed at Love…

Hi, everyone! Today I have something a little different. Andrew Shaffer was kind enough to send me two copies of his new book, Great Philosophers who Failed at Love:

Below you’ll find my review in vlog form, along with some natterings about love, and details for a contest in which you can win a copy of Andrew’s book. Just follow the instructions, and see you in comments. 😉 Thanks!

Posted by Nicole Peeler

Author, Professor, Lover, Fighter

9 thoughts on “Great Philosophers (and at Least One Author) who Failed at Love…”

  1. What do I think of love? Communication is a must. Sex is always nice. 😉 But not having to always been together is also good. I know I have it with my husband. I was lucky and found him when I was young. We've been together 17 years. There's a lot of little things too. Love isn't perfect.

    I don't like Valentine's Day being the day before my birthday. I never got much for it. It's not as bad as a Christmas birthday but I feel like I'm a leftover Valentine Birthday girl.

  2. Loved the blog, thanks for sharing!

    So my thoughts on love…from a single parent who is in her 30's. I have been divorced for almost 5 years (and more happy than I have ever been). I don't believe I was in love reflecting now on that marriage, highly infatuated yes, wanting out of a different situation at the time, also, yes…stupid decision, sure, lesson learned, YES! I couldn't "create" love, and almost paid the ultimate price for my stupid decisions (which I won't go into detail on). So since that change in my life, the divorce finalized, a bachelor degree, a masters degree, and raising 2 beautiful girls, I am happy, honestly truely happy! I have LOVE from my children, from family and from friends. With their love and support I realize I don't have to have a "partner" in my daily life, I can be happy alone. Sure it's hard, and there are moments when it's really, really tough but it's my life and because I have surrounded myself with what make me happy, ergo, I am happy! Do I think I will always be single? Nope, but I don't think anyone purposely sets out to be "that old cat lady down the street", life is what it is, it's our own reaponsiblity to make love to share with others, and if we are lucky, people will share love with us. 🙂

  3. The book sounds great; thanks for the review. Thoughts on love:

    Love is a verb. It isn’t a noun, a thing to be acquired, owned and put into a display case. It’s about action, about doing, especially when it isn’t easy, even through sometimes it can be effortless, as natural and unconscious as breathing.

  4. Becky: I think you've got something there. But is that "easy" love infatuation?

    Cindi: Aww, that's no fun having a birthday by a holiday! You people always get cheated. 😉

    Jessica: Thanks for sharing your story! It sounds like you've been a busy lady the last five years, and have loads to be proud of. You're a great inspiration for your girls!

    Lisa: I think love is effortless until suddenly reality smacks us, and then we realize it was easy because we were in love with our vision of a person, rather than the person. But I'm also terribly cynical. 😉 The work part comes when we have to align those two visions, and forge something positive out the reality crashing into the fantasy.

  5. What do I think of love? I think love is something to be cherished. I've been with with my husband for 8 years, married almost 3. I love him with all my heart and couldn't see myself with anyone else.Btw, just finished book three, Tempest Legacy. I absolutely loved it. I cannot wait for book four!

  6. I believe love is an action. Love does. It takes many forms. A parent providing sustenance for a child is exemplifying love. A young couple, laughing and talking together, and taking time to really listen, is exemplfying love A soldier, fighting to protect his friends from death, is exemplifying love. Love is NOT lust, though we often confuse the two, because lust is a byproduct of romantic love. But love exists apart from lust. Love is acting in the best interests of those who depend on you to ensure their survival, even at expense of your own, without asking for or expecting any gain or return of said action. Love is setting aside your own pain, anger, grief, to provide support to those who are in pain, angry, or grieving. There are many types of love, the kind expressed toward a parent, a child, a beloved spouse, respected elder, friend. But without action it may as well not exist. Action is never effortless, although it sometimes feels so. Neither is love effortless, although sometimes it feels so. When it feels effortless, I suspect we are riding love's equivalent of a runner's high. 🙂

  7. I like this particular vlog! It's very seasonally appropriate. As for my take on love, my romantic history is also frought with disaster, so I wouldn't quote me, but here goes. 🙂

    I think love takes a lot of work. You have to choose to love and some days it's a lot easier than it is other days. It's always really easy to love someone when things are going great-and I'm talking about platonic friendship love just as much as romantic love. But when bills are due and work is stressful and family makes you absolutely insane, love is that quality that makes you hang in there and make jokes about it and weather through the bad stuff together. And it's a guarantee that there WILL be bad stuff because we live in the world and are human. It's not an absence of bad times, but how you get through the valleys and back on the peaks.

    That last part sounded kind of dirty.

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