So my friend, Dr. Ruth, is flying in from the UK tomorrow. Can I just tell you how excited I am?

So. Excited.

Here’s the two of us in London. We’ve got very colorful coats:

I’m picking her up in Dallas, where we’re going to spend a few days to let her acclimate to the HEAT of the great US of A. I’m hoping that everyone in Dallas will do their best to wear cowboy hats, big boots, and maybe dangle some hitch testicles from their enormous trucks.

She’s never been in the US before, you see, so I wanna give her her money’s worth.

Anyway, we’re staying in Dallas a few days, where we will shop, spa, and ROCKBAND at Dakota Cassidy’s. 

Then we drive to Shreveport for a One Night Only Ho’ Down, in which I will show Rootie the finer points of Shreveport living, such as steaks at the CUB, drinkie poos at the Noble Savage, and general mayhem at the Shitty Kitty (Stray Cats). 

And I will probably do some laundry.

Then we will drive to NOLA, where we are staying at probably the coolest hotel I’ve ever seen, the W in the French Quarter. NOLA always makes me louche (and fat), so who knows what will happen. Okay, realistically I will just eat a lot of beignets and buy too much belly dancing bling (coin bras!), but I like to pretend that much more dramatic things will happen. Preferably in Pirate’s Alley. Ya’ll know how I love me some pirate. Argh.

After NOLA we drive straight to Memphis, where we have tix for Graceland. After Graceland, we drive to Chicago, where I am from. While in Chicago, we will Party Like Rockstars with my friends who are, genuinely, Rockstar. Like for real. I am a sad imitation of the rockstar, compared to my Very Rockstar Friends. We are also seeing the Dropkick Murphys in concert, which makes me go a bit funny inside. Because I might heart them big time. Okay, I do heart them big time. Tattoos! Accents! Tattoos!

That’s all it really takes, people.

After Chicago, we fly to NYC, where we will meet up with a bunch of peeps we knew in Edinburgh. Many shenanigans will ensue, as we are a shenanigans-friendly bunch. I am also meeting up with my agent and the good people at Orbit to talk some biz-nass.

And then Rootie flies back to London and I fly back to Chicago, where I will bond with fam and friends for a few weeks before driving the hippy spaceship back to Shreveport. 

Things I will miss in Shreveport: My friends! I wish you could ALL fit in the HS. Belly dancing! I will miss so much! But I will bring my jinglies and weeble my wobble all over the US so as to keep my hips true. Trivia! Burn Sauce MUST go forward without me! I am counting on you to keep our name alive and our enemies trembling!

I will also have to do a LOT of work on book 3 while I’m out and about. I think the shake up will be good for me. I actually write best when I’m traveling/busy. When I’m already pressured I take advantage of my free time, whereas when I’ve got lots of space to work I procrastinate like a mo’fo’ (Twitter!). 

As for book 2, revisions are done (well, for now) and off to my Alpha Team. I think there’s still a squidgy part about 2/3 through, but I’ll wait and see what they say. Right now I officially can’t even look at that book and actually see anything but a Frankenstein’s monster, so I’m not even going to pick it up again until July 1, to complete this round of revisions by July 15th.

OH and at some point my ARCS should be delivered to my parent’s house. At least, that is the plan. You will know by the shrieking from the Midwest. And I will immediately Facebook/tweet pictures of me rolling around in them, orgasmically, like a zaftig Demi Moore.

You may want to skip over those.

So that’s what’s happening starting….tomorrow. Tonight, Team Burn Sauce rides again! And we will be victorious. Even if I have to glass that dude on the other team with all that damned pop cultural knowledge. He’s big, but I can take him. West side!

As for blogging,  who knows? I may blog constantly. I may disappear in a powdered-sugar fug (beignets!!!). But I will definitely be tweeting/facebooking up a storm and I’m some of it will trickle over here.

So ya’ll have an awesome week and see you soon!