Howdy folks! It’s Monday, and time to reveal the wiener of Juliet Blackwell’s Erotic Cozy Title Contest. The entries were HILARIOUS, and I can’t believe how hard I laughed. I’d say this was an (a)rousing success all around!

In fact, the entries were so good that Juliet very generously offered to increase the prizes offered so that she could choose some honorary mentions. The honorary mentions can all pick any book from Juliet’s body of work currently available on Amazon, while the true wiener gets a copy of Dead Bolt from Juliet AND any other book of Juliet’s available on Amazon from me.

Drum roll please! Here’s Juliet!

Nicole *really* knows how to make a woman sweat.  I’m just saying…I’m a Libra, which means I’m decision-making-challenged.  I’m like the anti George W. Bush:  I’m the indecider (or would that be the undecider? I’ll ask George, I’m sure he’ll know)

ANYWAY…the point is, I had one heck of a time deciding which of the entries for Best Erotic Cozy title should win our coveted prizes.  But after much consideration, having checked in with cozy perverts of all stripes, and accepting advice from drunk people in bars and, one memorable evening, at a strip club… I pronounce…

Several Honorable Mentions:

Toni in FL, with her Rub One Out: A Massage-Parlor Mystery (A mafioso’s feckless nephew is found dead, but smiling, in a massage parlor run by a competitor… and new masseuse Touchée Yourbum has oil on her hands. It’s up to her fellow masseuse, amateur detective Happy Ending, to prove there’s no blood on those delicate-but-strong digits, too.)

And Bobbee Gerson, with He Died Smiling (Fanny Ryder’s best employee ends up with a dead John. It happens sometimes. The autopsy, however, points to murder. Fanny must find the killer or her Employee Of The Year will lose everything.) ***Extra points for the title: Arse-Whips and Old Lace, for which the Pensfatales have developed an entire series set in the kinkiest retirement home in Florida, and in which Detective Domme is on the job.

And KL’s Sex Toy Series, especially The Belle of the Ball Gag, will be written by someone soon, I’m sure.  That title is FAR too good to pass up.

But the grand prize, because of her lovely coziness combined with a truly dirty mind, goes to Adrienne Merl!  She had three particularly cozy, yet thoroughly lewd, title ideas:

Summa Cum Loud: To avoid losing his tenure, a college professor will do anything to keep his affair with a student quiet, including commit murder!

Death Doggie Style: When thighs start heating up between a veterinarian and his assistant, murder comes barking!

…and…

Condoms, Corsets, and Coffins: When a Showgirl i na Vegas revue is murdered, a police detective goes undercover to find the killer.  He PULLS OUT all the stops to solve the case, while providing PROTECTION for the other girls in the show.

Yay! Will all four wieners please email me their addresses at iheartselkies(at)gmail(dot)com and we’ll get your prizes sorted ASAP!

Thanks to everyone for, er, entering. I enjoyed the contest immensely and couldn’t believe how funny these things were! I’m also inspired!

And speaking of inspiration (and wieners), I’ve got some big news! Denise Townsend has finally launched her website. It’s got a cover, information, and a pre-order button for Denise’s erotic romance debut, Ocean’s Touch, which comes out December 27th. It’s about selkies and if you like Jane, I really think you’ll like these. Denise is very close to me. Very. Very close.

If you have any questions about Denise, please feel free to email me at iheartselkies. 😉

Thanks again and see you back here soon! 😉