Monthly Archive for May, 2011

In Honor of the Non-Traveling Pants

My friends, I have spent the last three days at home. It has been blissful. I’ve run, zumbaed, and committed acts of yoga. The rest of the time, I’ve been sat in my underpants, writing.*

It’s heaven. I have a long standing hatred of pants, and would be without them at all times, if both modesty and the law didn’t require bottoms.

There’s also the issue of chafing, but that’s neither here nor there.

Anyway, my anti-pants stance is not a joke. I say things on twitter about not wearing pants, and everyone’s like, “Hahaha, that crazy Nicole, her and her tweets about pants.” But I am deadly serious people. Deadly.

Like an adder. Deadly.

Indeed, I pretty much knew a recent, budding relationship was going to go nowhere when we had the Pants Talk. My new beau and I walked in to my apartment from a day doing something or other, and I immediately took off my pants. Here’s what ensued:

Him: “Wow, you really don’t like pants.”

Me: “Nope. Hate ‘em. You can take your pants off too, if you like.”

Him: “Um, no, that’s okay. I’m more comfortable with pants, during the daytime.”

Me (aloud): “Oh, okay.”

Me (in my mind): WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? MORE COMFORTABLE IN PANTS? WHAT? YOU PANTS LOVING FREAK WHO LIKES PANTS.

So, yeah, I’m pretty serious about the no pants. But I’m also serious about my underpants.

The great irony of my love of lingerie is that I currently spend half my time dressed for the gym, and the other half wearing whatever I cobbled together for a day spent in a place where Steeler’s jerseys are this season’s black and, I shit you not, people still wear scrunchies. You’ve seen that episode of Sex and the City, right? If you haven’t seen it, here it is. You only need the first minute and fifteen, and keep in mind this was nearly a decade ago, way back in 2003:

So on an everyday basis I don’t feel a pressing need to break out my vintage wear or my best black dresses. Instead, I try to blend in by making sure I match, and that I look at least five years older than my students. In other words, I rarely care what I’m wearing, and yet, underneath I’ve inevitably got on some fly panties.

Because I’m open about my love of the underpants, I’ve recently had a lot of talks with women about lingerie. The thing is, despite it being a major conglomerate that apparently makes bajillions, I know very few adult women who shop at Victoria’s Secret and are actually happy with their purchases. Occasionally there’s the “great” teddy that was worn once but never seen again, but for actual underwear a person can wear, be comfortable in, and still be sexy? Victoria’s Secret is a treasure chest of lies.

Part of the problem is that none of the five-year-olds they employ know what they’re doing. How can you measure my chest when you’re physically incapable of looking at my boobs? The other problem is that even if I were sized correctly, Victoria’s Secret has about five bras I can wear, and they’re inevitably the plain ones, in the back, hidden behind some flouncy A-cup. So I usually spend a visit to Victoria’s Secret saying, “Wow, pretty. Not my size. Wow, pretty. Not my size. Wow, pretty. Not my fucking size…”

This gets frustrating. And the same thing happens at the high end retailers, like La Perla, that I prefer to VS anyway. They’re made for lovely lithesome creatures. Unforttunately, I’m built more on a “Mesopotamian fertility goddess” scale, and even at my thinnest, all of my weight is in my tits and ass. Even now, as I’m finally losing all that thesis weight (it’s like baby weight, but without the lactating), it’s peeling off my arms and waist and calves . . . and sticking like glue to my hips, thighs, butt, and boobs.

So this is what women talk to me about. Women talk about it with me at signings, email me about it, DM me or Facebook message me: where do I get these underpants that I so love?

I usually hear from women who are like me: They’re too big in certain places for certain stores, but not big enough for other stores. We’re in a sort of size limbo: too small in most of our bodies for plus size, but way too plus size in other parts for normal stores. Oftentimes, women resort to just tenting themselves in the larger size, swaddling their little arms and legs and torsos so that something, anything, finally fits over their ass.

And that makes me sad, people.

So first of all, the secret is to find stores that sell a range of sizes. I will never need a size zero, but neither do I need 3XX. But there are a few stores that carry sizes from 14 to Much Larger than 14, and there are also stores that make a habit of catering to those who aren’t built on the fashion industry’s “perfect size 8″ proportions.

My favorite place to buy the sorts of things you wear everyday, if your everyday is sexy, is Intimacy. It’s awesome. There’s very little storefront, as they immediately whisk you back to a room where they stare at and prod your boobies, then they only bring you what they have that will fit. It’s amazing! The products aren’t cheap, but they’re beautifully made and they’re gorgeous. So indulge! They’re also made for all sorts of weird sizes. So if you have enormous boobs and a tiny rib cage, or a huge rib cage and tiny boobs, they’ve got you covered.

As for robes, I’ve got to give Soma the big thumbs up. I just bought a gorgeous little robe from them, and I can’t wait to rock it out.

When it comes to fripperies–and who doesn’t love a frippery?–I’ve just ordered a shit ton of stuff from this place. It’s the kind of place I love as they actually have a lot of smaller sizes as well as larger, and a lot of mix and matching, so I can cobble something together that fits everything.

So these are some of the places I buy my underwear. They’ve got what I like: a range of styles and sizes, so that I can put together looks that fit.

Because I think so much of being confident in what we’re wearing is knowing it does, indeed, fit. No one feels good in a caftan, but it’s equally hard to feel confident when one is squeezed into something like a sausage in its casing. So take your measurements, be honest about those measurements, and only keep what actually fits. Never be afraid to go up or down a size, depending on what looks good. So many people are ruled by a number they think they are or should be, but all clothes are sized differently. If you look good in a 12, rock it out–but if you look like you’ve wedged yourself into that dress with a shoehorn, try the 14. No one will see the tag, they’ll just see you.

So feel free to be gorgeous, ladies, even if it’s under our yoga pants. Or to sit by ourselves on a couch all day and write a book. Life is short, and our underwear–like everything we do–should be fun.

*For the entirety of this blog post, I will be using “pants” in the American sense, meaning underpants. But my British readers may feel free to read this entire post with “pants” in the British sense, if it gives them a giggle.

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Published on May 30, 2011 in Things I Like. 16 Comments Tags: , .

A Blog Post on my Excitement Over a Dearth of Mermaids, a Book Rec, and a WIENER!

Hello mah lovelies! I’m back in PA, finally, and getting back into the swing of things. It always helps to get back into “author mode” when I discover something cool that’s book related. And luckily for me, Germany’s come through with an awesome cover for book three:

There are NO MERMAIDS! And she’s dark-haired! It’s perfect! Plus I love the translation of the title. So that made me happy!

I never thought I’d be so happy to see a dearth of mermaids. ;-)

The other thing I wanted to tell you about is an author that rocks my casbah. Her name is Sarah Waters. She writes literary fiction, but they’re also rousing good stories. I’ve loved all of her books, but I read her latest, The Little Stranger, on the plane and it was gorgeous.


Waters’ prose has been called “neo-Victorian,” and although this is set post-World War II, the tone is very elegiac, and nostalgic of a more formal, pre-Modernist style of writing. It’s very much like the prose of, say, Henry James or Edith Wharton. This uncanny ability to mimic the style of different writing periods is Waters strong suit, but it’s never a cheap imitation. She really understands these styles: their limitations, their strengths, and how to play with each one in such a way that it’s never parody, but a sublime exploration of how various generations have attempted to communicate their life experiences using our limited, human tools of communication.

The Little Stranger is, primarily, an exploration of the British class system. But it really explores very universal ideas about how we glom on to ideas of things, and how those ideas rule our lives, even if we don’t want them to.

As with many of Waters other stories, this is also very much a ghost story. Like Henry James’s The Turn of the Screw, however, Waters writes ghost stories in which it’s  never clear  whether the ghosts are genuinely paranormal or actually psychological. Indeed, I think that most of her books argue that this distinction doesn’t matter. A haunting–no matter what the origins–is about ideas. If you think about it, it’s never “random burst of light” that haunts people in stories, it’s a ghost that’s either related to the hauntee, or that has a terrible story of its own. We’re haunted by the ideas ghosts represent: by the cruelty of mortality, or the loss of a loved one, or the violence we beget upon one another. So hauntings are as much about ideas as they are about incorporeal beings that say “boo,” and so, in some ways, The Little Stranger is about the danger of ideas and ideologies. In this case, it’s the ideologies that built, upheld, and still buoy the British class system. But we all have our own dangerous ideologies that haunt our lives or our societies.

So it’s a great book. It’s not fast–it’s written in the style of a generation that would have been horrified by one of our contemporary thrillers. But the writing is beautiful, and the story is intriguing. I highly recommend all of Waters’ work, and this book is no exception.

Finally, I think I owe you guys a WIENER! The wiener of my contest to win one of Kat’s Greywalker books is LOLITAM! Congrats, LolitaM! Email me at iheartselkies(at)gmail(dot)com, giving me your address and which of the books from this list you’d like.

For the rest of the weekend I’ll be cleaning, laundering, writing, and sweating at the gym or the yoga studio. For the wages of booktour sins must be paid in hard labor! ;-)

Finally, let me know in comments if there’s something you’d like me to talk about. I’ve been so busy with end of school, the tour, and book five I haven’t given much consideration to the blog. But let me know if there’s anything you’ve been hankering for. ;-)

And have a great weekend!

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Published on May 27, 2011 in Contests, Cover Love and Reviews. 4 Comments Tags: , , , .

The Tour: Snarking LA-TEX

Hello mah beauties!

I’m writing to you from Shreveport, where I am recovering from our Snark-La-Tex tour with the gracious care of my good friend Mary Lois and her husband, Doug. They keep feeding me and carting me places, bless them.

The tour, itself, was fabulous. Here’s a rundown from me, but you can also get more narrative over at Jaye’s site. I arrived the day of our first signing, last Sunday, in Dallas. Jaye picked Mary Lois and me up at the aiport, as ML tagged along as our driver/bodyguard/handler. It was so much fun to have her, and she totally saved our asses in Baton Rouge, but more on that later.

We started out our roadtrip by Jaye taking us to a place called Fuzzy Tacos. I love good food with stupid names, so I was in heaven. We then cleaned up and went to our signing at the Borders in Allen, TX, right outside of Dallas. The store was gorgeous, and we had a great turnout. You may recognize Dakota Cassidy, Renee George, and Michele Bardsley sitting front and center, in all of their splendor.

The staff at Borders were awesome, as was the audience. I met loads of people I’ve been tweeting or Facebooking with for a while, which is always fun. There was also a great turn out of book bloggers and reviewers. So fun!

After the signing, we headed out with Jaye’s husband and son, Michele, Dakota, and Renee to another Mexican restaurant (I’m making up for the horrible Mexican around where I live). This one, however, is famous for margaritas so potent you’re only allowed two or you’re taking a taxi. The conversation was about as raunchy as you might imagine, and it was great to catch up with Dakota, Michele, and Renee, three of my favorite people.

The next morning found us, rather unsurprisingly, EATING AGAIN. This time we went to Cafe Brazil, which has the most amazing chorizo empanadas. After fattening up, we drove to Austin. I’d never been, and it was such a cool city. First we met up with an Austin librarian, David, and his wife, Marlena, both avid readers. They were unbelievably generous and took us to a gorgeous restaurant named Bess’s Bistro. It’s owned by Sandra Bullock, so we were certainly not the biggest celebrities they’d every seen, but we were still treated royally. The food was delicious and the aesthetic of the place really great, so I highly recommend it.

After dinner, we headed to one of the coolest indie bookstores evah, BookPeople. We were definitely small fry for a bookstore that hosts such celebrities as Simon Pegg, but you wouldn’t know it from the way we were treated: like gold. They were so nice and so very, very welcoming. There was even a marquee!

And tons of other pimpage, including very cool posters they’d whipped up:

The space in which they do their signings is lovely, and we felt very professional. Or at least as professional as Jaye and I can feel, which is not all that professional, really.

We did readings, and then some Q&A:

And thanks to Pam (SpazP on twitter) for the gorgeous photos. She’s not so shabby herself (hubba hubba!).

After our signing, Jaye and I bought a metric fuck-ton of mustaches. Why? You’ll see! We also found this AMAZING MASK:

We realized later we missed a golden opportunity to stage a cock fight, which MUST HAPPEN the next time we hit BookPeople. I’m sure they’re thrilled at that idea. ;-)

The day after our Austin signing, we headed to Houston and one of our all-time favorite indies, Murder by the Book. John from the bookstore was sweet (or perhaps crazy) enough to let us stay at his house, and he and his partner Matt were the perfect hosts. Their house is gorgeous and cozy, and they could not have been sweeter.

Mary Lois did nearly steal their cats, but that’s another story.

The signing, itself, was a hoot. As I said, we bought lots of mustaches in Austin, and we put them to good use in Houston . . . by making everyone in the store wear one. The view from the front was awesomely mustache-tastic:

But I’m fairly certain the view from the audience was equally (if not more) ridiculous:

Just putting them on was a challenge, as we were giggling so hard:

But the effect was awesome, and it was great that the Murder by the Book people also played along. Here’s John looking verreh handsome in his ‘tache:

And here’s ML, Jaye and I posing in all our hirsute glory:

Mary Lois, for one, looked rather nice in her hipster ‘tache. Meanwhile, the signing itself was great. The audience was SO good-natured about being asked to wear things on their face, and they were so funny and fun about it. I also met some people I’ve been tweeting with for awhile, although one girl stayed incognito by not reminding me of her Twitter handle! (glares at @lobsterbandita)

She was already wearing a mustache, would I really have embarrassed her further??

After dinner, we went out to the amazing restaurant, Mockingbird Bistro, where ML and I had gone the last time I had a signing at Murder by the Book. I loved it then, and loved it just as much this time. Besides Matt and John, my very talented mentee from SHU’s MFA, Elle Stone, came with us to dinner. Her awesome first book, a YA fantasy, is currently on submission to editors, so I’m keeping all my body parts crossed for her. Not that I think she’ll need it: the book is phenomenal.

We had a great deal of food, but also a few cocktails . . . which were very, very strong cocktails. I’d become rather obsessed with the tattoo of one of the ladies at the Borders in Allen, TX, which was of a mustache on her finger, so she could be in disguise whenever she felt like it. I’d seen them before, but something about this ‘tache just really resonated with me. And after a few cocktails, somehow there were all sorts of jokes about finger ‘taches, and poon (I have no idea how that happened), which morphed into the idea of “poonstache,” and then we decided our next tour would be called Poonstache 2012, and then it went downhill from there. We closed out the restaurant after nearly howling down its walls with laughter, and with my being firmly committed to getting my own mustache tattoo.

Which brings us to New Orleans.

Obviously, much debauchery happened in New Orleans, right? Including that tattoo, right? We did hit Decataur, and Coop’s, hard, having a few drinks and feeling our oats. Unfortunately, we made the wrong decision after that and ended up at my favorite NOLA eatery, Muriel’s. Now, don’t get me wrong, Muriel’s was as delicious as ever. But we ate ourselves into a COMA and it was all we could do to drag our sorry behinds back to our hotel and go to bed. At 11:00 pm. In New Orleans, city of sin. It was pathetic!

But dinner was delicious, and we were up nice and early to work out and then undo the workout by eating beignets. Then we spent a delicious afternoon in the quarter, buying chicken feet from voodoo shops and clothing from Trashy Diva. As one does.

Then we went to Baton Rouge. Or we tried to. The drive was easy, up until we hit the city that, historically, I’ve always breezed through driving to and from NOLA. But not this time! A combination of crazy construction and some flooding in other parts of the city meant that everyone, their mama, and their voodoo priestess were on the highway. Jaye did a great job blogging the gritty details, but suffice it to say that Mary Lois totally saved our butts by taking us a ninja back route and getting us to the store only one minute late.

But it was worth it! The Baton Rouge Books-A-Million was very fun, and its employees Randolph and Pepper were super. Randolph also told us about a great place to go for dinner, Red Zeppelin Pizza, which was delish. Handily, right across the street from the pizza join was a tattoo parlor! And what more does a mustache-themed book tour need than a mustache tattoo???

Atomic Tatto was a great studio, much to Jaye’s relief. I loved the guy who did  my tat: he was all squirrely, offbeat, and wry (also probably very high). And he did a beautiful job! Here’s the finished ‘tach:

I didn’t think the tattoo hurt, but then I’m a bit of a piercing champ. So those needles compared to tattoo needles is nothing. It’s healing up well and I still am endlessly amused by it, so I’m happy.

The next morning we headed out for our last stop, Shreveport. It was so nice to be back! We had a lovely crowd full of old friends and familiar faces from other signings. That said, I think both Jaye and me were just about running on fumes.

Not that we didn’t get a kick out of reading some raunchy self-help guides:

After the signing, we went to the Noble Savage, where Chef and Lee knew just what I needed:

The lovely dram on the right is Adelphi’s Breath of Islay (pronounced EYE-LA, btw), and the golden beauty on the left is a Laphroig (pronnounced LA-FROY) 18-year-old that Chef brought out specially for me. I love the Savage.

We ate meat pies, drank Scotch, and listened to Chef’s partner, Angela, regale us with hilarious stories. It was lovely seeing my friends from Shreveport, whom I’ve missed very much.

Tomorrow, however, I’m returning home to Pittsburgh. My friend, Wendell, is my knight in shining armor and driving me all the way to Dallas for my flight. Thanks, Wendell!

Once home, I plan on embarking on a strict regime of exercising and writing book five. I’ll let you know how that goes. ;-)

Finally, don’t forget there’s still time to enter my contest to win one of Kat Richardson’s Greywalker books. Details are here.

Talk to y’all when I get back! In the meantime, be good. Unless you want to be naughty. Then feel free.

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Published on May 24, 2011 in Appearances, My Travels, Signings and SNARK-LA-TEX. 5 Comments Tags: , , .

Update and Guest Blog from KAT RICHARDSON!

Hello lovelies!

I’m updating you from a hotel room in Baton Rouge. Snark-La-Tex has been a BLAST. Seriously, it could not have gone better. We had fun turnouts in awesome bookstores, and we’ve had so much fun together. Everyone’s asked, “Have you killed each other yet?”, which couldn’t be further from the truth. We’ve had an awesome time, laughing our way through everything.

There has been a lot of eating, a lot of snarking, a ridiculous amount of swearing, and a tattoo. Whose? Where? You’ll just have to wait if you don’t follow me on Facebook or Twitter. ;-)

I’ll blog the whole tour soon enough, when it’s over. Tonight we have our last signing in Shreveport, at the Barnes &  Noble on Youree, at 7pm. Be there or be square.

But now I’ve got a special treat for you, a guest post from Kat Richardson who has done a very cool walking audio tour for her books. Kat’s books are set in Seattle, so if you’re a visiting fan these tours have to be a must-do on your list!

Here’s Kat!

Playing Tourist in Harper Blaine’s Neighborhood

Nikki, being the fab human that she is, asked if I’d say something about the walking tour I put together recently for YodioTours.com. Well, OK, because I’m always one to toot my own horn if someone is fool enough to ask.

Which is kind of how the whole thing started—Clay Loges asked me if I’d like to make a tour based on my Greywalker books for his new service and since it was a chance to get some more exposure in a new way, I said “sure!” Clay had been referred to me by the staff at Seattle Mystery Bookshop who are the best book-pimps money can’t buy. I just love those guys.

So I walked around, took photos, wrote the script, edited the script with Clay’s help and then recorded the audio once we’d got all the photos and the script set to our satisfaction. It was fun to take a look around the neighborhood again since it had been a while since I’d spent much time in Pioneer Square. The books had started out there, but the later ones had often gone out on vacation to other parts of town or even other towns and I’d almost forgotten some of the things that had made me love the historic district to begin with. So I guess I’m back in love with my character’s old stomping grounds. It’s nice when a new project reminds you how much you loved the old ones.

If you want to take a look, the tour is up at YodioTours.com (http://www.yodiotours.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=35&Itemid=164) and you can view it online or download it to your phone and follow along, when you visit Seattle.

Thanks to Nikki for letting my squat in her blog like this—she’s the best!

I AM the best, Kat. ;-) But seriously, thanks for posting and this walking tour is such a great idea. In fact, I’m so psyched about this idea that if you comment about which other series of books you’d think would make a great walking tour, and why, I’ll enter you into a contest to win the book of your choice from Kat’s Greywalker series. Sound good? So comment on this blog post, and if you win then you can pick any of Kat’s Greywalker books and I’ll have it Amazoned to you. ;-) If you’ve never tried this series, I think you’ll love it. I’ll draw the winner next Friday, May 27th.

So comment away and thanks for blogging, Kat! I’ll blog myself soon about the tour (the tats and the plans for Poonstache 2012). But if you miss me that much, you can finally see my debut post at Pens Fatales, on carpeing your diems. ;-)

See all you Shreveporters shortly!

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Published on May 20, 2011 in Appearances, Contests, Guest Blogs, My Travels, Over at Pens . . . and Signings. 9 Comments Tags: , .

Pop the Champagne!

And feel free to call it “champag-nah!”

For I finished grading today! I also knocked out a massive chunk of my to-do list, including deciding what texts to use for my literature course (writing about literature) next semester. It’s a writing intensive course, so there’s not too much we can do, but here’s what I chose:

Don Delillo’s White Noise

Angela Cater The Bloody Chamber and Other  Stories

Henry James The Turn of the Screw

Luigi Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author

And an antho of poetry, plus the readings from the textbook.

So I’m very excited! White Noise is one of my all time favorite books, and it’s great to study with English majors, not least as it makes so much fun of academia. I also have a near obsessive love of The Turn of the Screw, but I’m sure there’s a pill for that on the market by now. I’m really excited to teach Carter, as I’ve not taught her before, but I think she’ll BLOW SOME MINDS. ;-) And who doesn’t love Pirandello? I mean, really?

And meanwhile, what finishing all of this means is that I get to be an AUTHOR again. The deadline for Tempest’s Fury is alarmingly close (like nibbling on the nape of my neck close), but I’ll be jumping back into Full Author Mode with a book tour. So by the time that’s done I should be totally recharged and ready to write! After a nap. For those of you who are like, “Book tour? What book tour?”, Jaye Wells and I are going to be all over Texas and Louisiana, swarming like ants on the ass of a dead armadillah. Here’s the roster if you’re interested:

Sunday, May 15th — DALLAS, TX

4:00 pm, Borders (965 West Bethany Dr., Allen, TX 75013)

Monday, May 16th –  AUSTIN, TX

7:00 pm, BookPeople (603 North Lamar Boulevard, Austin, TX 78703)

Tuesday, May 17th — HOUSTON, TX

6:30 pm, Murder By The Book (2342 Bissonnet St., Houston TX, 77005)

Thursday, May, 19th — BATON ROUGE, LA

6:30 pm, Books-A-Million (2380 Towne Center Blvd, Baton Rouge, LA, 70806)

Friday, May 20th –  SHREVEPORT, LA

7:00 PM, Barnes & Noble (Bayou Walk, 6646 Youree Drive, Shreveport, LA, 71105)

Jaye and I will be doing all sorts of stupid shit with each other’s books, because we get bored doing regular readings. You can also meet the infamous Mary Lois, from Shreveport, who is serving as our Turtle.

You have to get through her, people.

So that’s what I’ll be doing Sunday! Friday and Saturday will be taken up with last minute crazy prep for the tour, plus graduation and the two solid days of activities that it entails.

But then I’ll be FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Man I love being a teacher. :-D

In the meantime, let me know if there’s something you think would be really funny if Jaye & I do on the tour, or what you’d like to know about touring. I’m gonna try to take lots of pictures (read, make ML take lots of pictures), so that we can do some major Bloggage. ;-)

See y’all on the flipside!

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Published on May 13, 2011 in Appearances, Day Job!, My Travels, Signings and SNARK-LA-TEX. 4 Comments Tags: .

Update and a WIENER!

Hello mah beauties!

I hope you’re well! I’m fighting off a bit of a cold I picked up at JFK. I swear, every time I fly through that airport I get sick. I can’t complain too much, though, as this is just a head cold. That last time I went to London through JFK, I picked up what I think might have been ebola, and spread it all around to friends in the UK and then back to my colleagues in PA when I returned. They claimed I was the Outbreak monkey, and they are, realistically, correct.

But DC was wonderful, and it was lovely to spend time with my parents. My dad sat at the hotel while my mom and I wandered around the city. And by “wandered,” I mean walked for miles and miles and miles. It’s a fabulous place though, and it was great spending quality time with Rella.

As for me, I’m working slowly but surely away at Tempest’s Fury, and finishing up all my grading for the end of the year. I’ve got one class done, and just three big things to grade before I’m finished! It’s still quite a bit of work, but totally doable.

And then on Sunday, I leave for Dallas, to join Jaye Wells for our SNARK-LA-TEX tour. If you’re in Louisiana or Texas, we might be near you next week!

We’ll have Mary Lois, our Turtle, with us, so hopefully she’ll take lots of pictures. You got a camera, ML?

Our goals for the tour are to have a) a buttload of fun and b) not get arrested. Although Jaye keeps reminding me that we also want to sell a lot of books, so that’s c) sell a lot of books (while having fun and not getting arrested).

I’m very excited to be back in the South, and especially to spend some time with my friends in Shreveport after the tour.

So that’s the next few weeks of my life! Typically busy, crazy, and fun…hurrah! I hope to see some of you on the tour, and for those of you who can’t make it, I’ll try to blog lots and remember, you can always email me at iheartselkies(at)gmail(dot)com for a signed bookplate.

But speaking of books, I know what you really want . . . to know who won a signed copy of Kevin Hearne’s Hounded!

The contest can has spoken!

And the wiener is Damaris T!

Congrats to Damaris. Email me at iheartselkies(at)gmail(dot)com and I’ll forward your info to Kevin.

Thanks everyone for playing. You all had great entries, some of which I’m still giggling over.

See you soon, and come play if you’re in LA or TX! ;-)

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Published on May 10, 2011 in Appearances, Contests, My Travels, Signings and SNARK-LA-TEX. 2 Comments

Guest Post: Kevin Hearne!

Hello folks! Nicole here, but not for long. For today I’m handing the blog over to Kevin Hearne, whose new novel Hounded is out now! This book is fabulous. I know, because I blurbed it. It’s also gotten much love from Publisher’s Weekly, Romantic Times, and other great review sources. And it’s a sexy cover:

Well hello there, Atticus Sexy Pants! I like your mighty broadsword.

Without further ado, here’s Kevin!

Whiskey, feh!

(okay, I, Nicole, made up that title)

Nicole Peeler is one o’ my favorite people. Not only does she write really endearing and laugh-out-loud funny urban fantasy, but she cracks me up on Twitter and teaches newbie authors like me how to deal with the many demands of the publishing business. It’s actually a detailed and thoughtful philosophy, but it can be summed up like this: “Let your agent handle most things. For everything else, there’s whisky.” (For me, it’s whiskey, but this is Nicole’s blog, so we’ll leave out the e.)

Nicole also wrote a blurb for my debut, Hounded, and then she invited me to join The League of Reluctant Adults! Today I’m appearing on quite a few of their blogs as a guest, since it’s my release day and the League is just the coolest bunch o’ people I know. If you’d like the full list of where I’m at today on the Internet(s), pop over to my blog. But since Nicole has done so much for me, I’m doing some special stuff here.

First, I’m going to share with you a side project I’m working on, inspired by fellow Leaguers Allison Pang and Carolyn Crane. Allison and Carolyn have made some neato trading cards featuring their characters to give out to their fans at signings and such. Being a bit of a turbonerd, I had to take it a step further. I’m creating a dueling card game based on the world of The Iron Druid Chronicles, and it’s been a complete hoot so far. The mechanics should be familiar to anyone who’s ever played Magic: The Gathering or similar games, but the cards feature quotes and characters from my first two books, from goddesses to faeries to werewolves. There will be thirty different cards in the deck when I’m finished, though you’ll need to use multiple copies of some cards to play, and I have 24 of them designed so far. Here are three:

Aren’t they hella cool? I’ll be talking more about the Iron Druid card game on my own blog sometime in June after the release of HEXED, but I wanted to debut the project here.

The second thing I’m doing is this: Nicole’s gonna run a giveaway of Hounded—her rules. But if you win, you’re not just going to get a copy from Amazon, you’re going to get a signed author copy made out to you specially! I hope you’ll all go for it, and while you’re waiting to see if you won, click here to read the first six chapters for free and get to know Atticus! Of course it’s available at all the usual places you buy books, and if you dig it, you won’t have long to wait for the next two: Hexed comes out June 7 and Hammered on July 5! Cheers!

Nicole is back! I thought for the contest we’d do something bawdy and funny, because I’m all about the bawdy/funny. This is completely random, and you can enter just by commenting anything (except NICOLE SUCKS, which is just mean, really). But if you want to play, in comments try to come up with a playing card that would be appropriate for Kevin’s game, but also completely inappropriate as a double entendre. For example, instead of Demon Rams we might have a card that’s “Ramming the Demon,” with an appropriately ridiculous summary. As I said, you don’t have to play (this one’s kind of hard), and you’re entered by commenting anything. But if you want to play, I know there are some crafty little fuckers amongst you. ;-)

I’ll pick a winner, at random, next Monday. Bonne chance, demon rammers!

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Published on May 3, 2011 in Guest Blogs. 27 Comments Tags: , , .