Monthly Archive for March, 2010

Another Weiner! And I Can’t Stop GIVING SHIT AWAY!

So many exciting things here at the Emporium!

First of all, can I just say HOW AWESOME were your comments for Werewolf Smackdown. Seriously? SO COOL.

You all made me SO HUNGRY with the food ideas/recipes (Thom, you’re amazing), but then you’d put the smackdown on my appetite by adding the blood. It was like Pavlovian training . . . I drooled at the food, and then “Blood!” and the drool would be cut off. Highly hi-larious.

I don’t like to interact too much with the comments for contests, because it sort of skews the numbers I’m working with, but I really, really adore all of them. And I’ve gotten lots of feedback from people (other authors, mainly) who think that the way you engage with my questions is super cool and really fun, so well done, all of you!

I’ll now announce the weiner of Mario’s Werewolf Smackdown. The Contest Can is warming up its vocal chords!

The weiner is . . . . KAYLA B!

CONGRATULATIONS! Email me your address at iheartselkies (at) gmail (daht) com and I’ll get a copy shipped to you forthwith!

And, for all of you who DIDN’T win . . . feeling disappointed? Sharpening your shank of anger? Considering drowning a few kittens? Well, there’s no need for all of that! Because . . .

THERE’S ANOTHER CONTEST! Seriously, the authors at the League have to stop publishing before I go broke. They’re killing me. ;-)

Up in the hot seat today are two of my favorite redheads, Jaye Wells and Richelle Mead.

I’m a huge fan of both of these ladies. Jaye is a fellow Orbit writer, and she invited me into the League. For that I will forever be grateful and have her back in snark. Richelle, meanwhile, could not have impressed me more when I met her at Dragon*Con. She’s so famous! So fabulous! So FAMOUS! And yet, she couldn’t be nicer or more down to earth. I mean, don’t get me wrong, if I ever get famous I will expect to be carried around on a divan by swarthy, well-oiled and muscular minions, who will take by the throats and shake anyone who approaches me without first genuflecting and praising my Infinite Beauty, Wisdom, and Snark, BUT while I’m doing all those things, I’ll think, “Ya know, that Richelle was so humble and fabulous. Maybe there’s a lesson to be learned, in all of that? Like . . . where is my Massager of My Left Pinkie Toe? It’s cramping! It’s CRAMPING!”

So it’s with great excitement that I roll out to the Emporium the newest books by Richelle Mead:

And Jaye Wells!

So exciting! And yes, I will give away these two books to a lucky winner! Just comment on the following, below, to enter to win both Jaye and Richelle’s newest books:

Carolyn Crane just posted this FABULOUS round up of UF and ParaRom Heroine’s hair colors. Jaye and Richelle both are fabulous redheads, and I, as you probably know, dye my hair ridiculous shades of red and pink and magenta and whatever the hell the salon comes up with that week.

So my question is: who’s your favorite redhead? You can name a real person, or a character from books and film. And what does red hair say to you?

To help you on your way, here’s Catherine Tate’s hilarious take on what it’s like to be a redhead:

If I loved Catherine Tate any more, I might explode with love for her. Explode. Not metaphorically, but actually combust. With love. For her.

So comment below and enter to win! I’ll pick a winner on SUNDAY from the Contest Can.

And stay tuned for tomorrow, as I’ll be officially launching the Countdown to Tracking the Tempest! April First means it’s THREE months till Jane’s second book comes out. Can you believe it? I can’t. And to celebrate the official launching of the launching of the launch, I’ll have some Tracking related treats for you.

I’m so excited I could spit.

Classy!

Published on March 31, 2010 in Coming Soon!, Contests, Pimpage! and Tracking the Tempest. 62 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

Guest Blog: MARIO ACEVEDO

It’s with great pleasure I introduce Mario to the Emporium. He’s fabulous . . . never read an email him with something in your mouth. It will inevitably come out of your nose. He’s hilarious and the books are fantastic–I love me some Felix. Rawr! So here goes . . . Mario Acevedo!

The Writer’s Life, a Cocktail of Friends and Alcohol.

I first met Nicole Peeler at a clothing-optional writer’s workshop.  Afterwards, Nicole told me it was too flaccid.  My work, she meant.

My fifth book is out, which means I’ve been at this writing biz as a professional for four years.  We all expect great things from getting published.  Piles of money for one.  That happens for a few.  Other writers fizzle out right away and disappear.  The rest of us die-hard scribes slog along as mid-list authors, trying our best to survive.

But what I didn’t expect and what surprised me was meeting and becoming friends with my fellow writers, strangers at first.  One popular misconception is that writers are introverted hermits toiling away in an attic or basement.  Once in a while they’re prodded out for book tours and they squint mole-like at the sun before slinking away in search of a drink.

Actually I’ve found writers to be the opposite.  Almost unanimously they’re gregarious and generous.  Most of us realize that our success is a matter of hard work and luck.  There are a few writers–insufferable wretches, the toe fungus of the publishing industry–who act as though they’ve been anointed by a Higher Power to deliver the printed word.  Usually these writers blend in with the normal good people but occasionally they give themselves away.  When they do, we have a special name for them: microphone hogs.  The next time you’re at an author’s panel and there is one writer who slobbers all over the mike and barely acknowledges the other panelists, that person is the insufferable wretch, a.k.a. the microphone hog, a.k.a. the windbag asshole.

Another popular misconception is that writers are backbiting helots.  Again, untrue.  We authors band together in online tribes.  We watch out for one another; if there’s an opportunity we pass along a mention.  If there’s a snake in the grass, we shout a warning.  This doesn’t mean we don’t talk smack about one another.   We do.  As much as possible.  For example, I know things about Nicole that would make a prison warden blush.  And I respect Nicole too much to give details other than to say I have pictures for sale and I accept PayPal.

However, there is one perception about writers that is very true.  We like to drink.  A lot.  My first writers’ conference as a professional was the 2006 Bouchercon in Madison, WI.  Voted the most walkable city in America.  Which means the bars are within stumbling distance.  Because of that experience, I’ve held mystery writers in awe.  My heroes.  Since then I’ve branched out to other genre conferences and while I certainly wouldn’t call fantasy writers lightweights around the bottle, mystery writers remained the grand potentates of partiers.

Until my first Romantic Times conference.  Who would’ve thought these bitchy lushes masquerading as college professors and suburban housewives could’ve hip-checked mystery writers off the barstool of honor?  To be fair, some of these writers were ringers, mystery authors doing double duty.

And my team was the urban fantasy scribblers, appropriately named the League of Reluctant Adults, who guzzled the booze like thirsty mudcats.  These women writers brought to Romantic Times an expertise missing at the other cons.  Erotica.  Porn by and for women.  Add booze.  See what you get.

One memorable bacchanal was the public reading of sex-drenched pages.  Civilians–i.e., non-writers–crept close to soak up the 100 proof filth.  Judging by their sweaty faces and twitchy fingers, we didn’t disappoint.

Which brings us full circle to the queen of sweaty faces and twitchy fingers: Nicole Peeler.  Buy her book.  Support her snark.

Happy fanging.

Mario Acevedo

His latest book, WEREWOLF SMACKDOWN, is on the prowl.  Your best hope for salvation is to buy a copy…or better yet, several.

http://www.marioacevedo.com

And now for the CONTEST! To win a copy of Werewolf Smackdown, answer me the following, in comments:

Felix doesn’t consume his blood the “normal” way for a vampire. Rather, his sanguinary consumption often occurs in the form of enchiladas with a very special red sauce. What do YOU think is a good recipe/type of food to serve as a culinary vehicle for blood? Por ejemplo (see Mario! Spanish!), Blood a la Mode! (I’m wikked bilingual people. Wikkid.) Winners will be pulled from the Contest Can next WEDNESDAY, just in time to announce my NEXT CONTEST.

Cuz I heard Sabina Kane’s in town . . . And she does so enjoy the Emporium . . .

Published on March 27, 2010 in Contests, Guest Blogs and Pimpage!. 40 Comments Tags: , , , , .

The Weiner! And More Excitement!

Y’all came up with some AWESOME responses to the last contest question: What would REALLY win out, brain or brawn? Most of you seem to have gone for brain. And while I hope this is true, I still have this vision of me being like, “I will think my way out of this nightmare!”–right up until someone pops me in the nose and I’m down for the count.

But I think one idea shone through that is absolutely relevant and true, and that’s the idea that we want our heroes/heroines to have brains, because otherwise their books would be pants. Por ejemplo, snark unmitigated by intelligence isn’t snark . . . it’s just being a bitch.

So yay! Fun responses that I really enjoyed reading, which means its with great pleasure that I reach my greasy little paw into . . . the CONTEST CAN!

And the weiner is . . . . . the very last commenter, SARAH! Way to pip the others at the post! Congrats!

Email me at iheartselkies(at)gmail(daht)com with your address and I’ll have Carolyn Crane’s Mind Games expedited to you.

And in very fun news, the fabulous Mario Acevedo is going to be guest blogging here, tomorrow. The post is hilarious, although everything he says about me are LIES! Terrible LIES!

Alongside of Mario’s blog I’ll be running a contest to win his newest book, Werewolf Smackdown. I couldn’t be more excited. Could you? ;-)

Published on March 26, 2010 in Contests, Guest Blogs and Pimpage!. 3 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

Some Pimpage and a Contest!

It’s that time of the month, again . . . the League is stirring and, panting like a Lamaze instructor, birthing BOOKS!

In a few days, Mario Acevedo will be guest posting here, and I’ll be running a contest to win his newest book: Werewolf Smackdown!

How great are these covers? Between now and my contest, though, feel free to buy the rest of Mario’s books. OR buy Werewolf Smackdown anyway because you know how good it’s going to be, and you know you’ll probably need another copy if you get too excited reading the first and spit coca-cola on it. Or whatever other fluids Mario’s fiction may make you spit. It’s okay…this is a judge free zone.

But in the MEANTIME, I have a contest for RIGHT NOW! I’m very excited when we get to launch a debut novel by a Leaguer. After all, the League was there for me when I debuted Tempest Rising and I don’t know where I’d be without their support. So it’s with great pleasure that I announce the launch of Carolyn Crane’s debut novel, MIND GAMES! Huzzah!

How good does that look? Her heroine is totally gonna cut a bitch. And what a big knife she has! To win a copy of Carolyn’s book, just ponder the following question and insert your thoughts into my comments box. *giggles*

As a nerd, I like to tell myself that brains (MIND GAMES!) will win over brawn (WEREWOLF SMACKDOWNS!), and yet I also know that I’m not going to manage to Machiavelli my way out of a situation if someone has their filthy paws wrapped around my throat. So what do you think is really more important for a hero/heroine? Brains or brawn?

Comment here, and I’ll choose a winner, randomly, from the CONTEST CAN! on Friday, at noon, Louisiana time. Which doesn’t mean 1:30, you assholes, it means central time.

Awesome! Have great weeks! And stay tuned for later in the week when Mario will be visiting. I’m gonna start laying down tarps now . . . it will inevitably get sticky.

Published on March 23, 2010 in Contests and Pimpage!. 52 Comments Tags: , , , , , , .

Things I Like: When the Fat Lady Sings!

One thing I like very, very much is opera. That may surprise some of you who think I am entirely uncouth. I actually do have a couth streak . . . I just hide it well. ;-)

Last weekend, here in Shreveport, I went to see one of my very favorite operas, Puccini’s La bohème.  Here’s a snippet, with Pavarotti as Rodolfo, the poet, and Mirella Freni as Mimi, the seamstress:

One of the reasons I love La bohème so much is that it is my father’s favorite opera, and I grew up with La bohème playing somewhere in the background for most of childhood. It’s as familiar to me as a lover and I feel as if I’ve come home when I hear its music.

I also find this opera fascinating. It’s considered typical, overtly entertaining Puccini fare: heavy on the humor and the sex, light on meaning. But I think such dismissals do La bohème an injustice. For, rather than a love story, I’ve always seen this opera as something far darker. I think La bohème suggests that love can only exist in its own absence, that we only want that which we may lose, and that what we call “love” is only a romantically padded way to articulate our desire to possess.

In other words, while the sounds of this opera comfort me on a visceral level (I hear it and, quite literally, I relax), it disturbs me, intellectually. And I think it’s meant to.

On that note, and because I like things that disturb me, my favorite opera of all time is Verdi’s Otello. Othello is my favorite of Shakespeare’s plays as I’m riveted by the cruelty and sadism of Iago. I love the idea of the sort of evil Iago represents, and how easily he manipulates his victims. Verdi’s opera contains all of Iago’s machinations, plus Verdi’s soaring strings, blaring horns, and pounding drums. The music captures the fury of emotion that this story engenders. Here are Renee Fleming and Placido Domingo, as Desdemona and Othello, duking out one of their more brutal confrontations . . . such glorious torture to watch:

If you have a chance, catch an opera.* Don’t watch it as a snob, watch it as you would a movie. Let the music guide your affective response, rather than your brain dictating your reactions. In other words, just let yourself feel the opera, feel the sounds. I promise you’ll find more than you thought possible both in the music and in yourself.

*Attending an opera is also a fantastic excuse for a new dress AND a fascinator. Just sayin’.

Published on March 18, 2010 in Things I Like. 8 Comments Tags: , , , , .

IT RUNS!

And by it, I mean me. Yes, folks, I’ve started running the couch to 5k program.

The thing is, I used to run. Never gracefully or rapidly, but I ran. Okay, it was more of a rapid stagger, if I’m honest, but it worked. And by “worked,” I mean kept the upper limits of my weight off. Ya see, I’m a chubby bunny: always have been, always will be. And I like being chubby. I was built for comfort, not for speed, and I love having a little padding. With the hell for leather way I live my life, let’s face it: I need some cushioning.

But there’s chubby and there’s . . . chubby. Doing my Ph.D., I moved into the [ellipses] chubby range of the chubby spectrum. Again, to be honest, I can’t complain. I wrote a book that got published AND got my doctorate . . . a little buttockulous-sprawl at the same time can’t really be begrudged, considering. But now that I have a (fairly) routine schedule with some time carved out to exercise, I’ve really been hitting the gym.

I’m working out with my fabulous friend and trainer, Dawn, twice a week. I dance on Monday nights, do yoga Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Group Power Saturday mornings. I do cardio at least three times a week, and underneath all this chub is a fricking Spartan warrior.

Unfortunately, the blubber OVER the muscles of steel is just not moving. It’s tightening, and it’s shifting, but it’s not . . . going . . . anywhere. And I know damned well why it’s not. It’s because I’m not freaking running.

I’ve been assiduously avoiding running, despite knowing I really, really have to suck it up and get back into it. My problem is that I always overdo the running too early, and hurt myself (I have a dodgy ankle). So I’ve been rather loathe to put myself through all of that, just in case I jacked up my leg again. Then my friend (and my other friend, and my other friend, until pretty much everyone I know) did the couch to 5K program. All of the people who completed the program swore by it, but I was skeptical. I usually hurt myself doing my own variation of an incremental, staged running routine that didn’t seem that much different from the couch to 5k. So I kept avoiding it, insisting that if I just kept lifting more, I’d shed the pounds. Then my friend took some pictures of me at a lecture I gave on publishing, and I could see just how very strong, and very fit I was . . . underneath virtually the exact same layer of fat that had been there since I first sat down and started writing two years ago.

So I bit the bullet. I started the couch to 5k, and I LOVE it. It’s actually really different from what I’ve done before, staggering your routine so that you start with very short running jags (only a minute) and then walking for 90 seconds, all for only 20 minutes, total. Left to my own devices, I was doing something totally different for 30 minutes, just long and hard enough to stress my ankle. But not this program! I’ve completed the first week and I adored it. It was absolutely doable, and it made me remember why I loved running. Basically, I get high. For about four hours after each of my first three running workouts, I was walking around like I was on happy pills. I can also feel what running does to my body: working really specific muscles in really specific ways that I can’t emulate with any other exercise.

So I would totally recommend this program to anyone who is thinking either of getting in shape from scratch, or who would like to add running to their established workout regime. Here’s one version of a couch to 5k that’s very similar to what I’m doing. I’m actually using a downloadable, iPhone application (C25k), because I am way too distractable to sort out the timings, especially in these complicated early weeks. But there’s all sorts of podcasts, applications, and programs to choose from if you want to go the go-go-gadget route.

Whatever you choose to do, however, do it properly. Get good running shoes; do the first, few weeks of walking, especially if you haven’t been to the gym in a while; and, finally, listen to your body and remember this is about getting back into running, not about winning a race. In other words, be as plodding, slow, and cumbersome as you need to be as you get yourself back into fighting trim. This program isn’t about charging out and taking on the Kenyans; it’s about getting yourself back into running, safely and healthily.

To kick start your own motivation, in case you need it, I’m giving you two treats. The first is a reminder to stay hydrated:

The second is a playlist of my favorite running/writing songs. They inspire my muscles and my brains and I hope theyll do the same for you. That said, there should be more Dropkick Murphys on here, including a kick start with their song “Warrior’s Code” from the album of the same name, but it wouldn’t show up on iMix for some reason.

Anyway, here’s the mix. It’s hawt:

Good luck and enjoy. If you need a pep talk, drop me a comment. I give good pep talk. ;-) Coulda been a coach . . .

Published on March 15, 2010 in Nicole Peeler. 10 Comments Tags: , , .

Where in the World is Nicole Peeler?

Nicole has, once again, been thrown into her Grading Oubliette. She will be back next week, covered in paper cuts and red ink and muttering softly to herself. So just like normal, really.

If you’d like to send her care packages, mail them c/o LSUS’s Grading Oubliette. We’ll poke it through the bars of her cage:

San Juan Capistrano Jail Cell

I think I caught the drifting strains of, “I’ll bastardize your predicates,” sung to the theme song of Young Guns, just a little while ago. Which means it’s time for Nicole’s rainwater and day old bread. We’ll let her enjoy it in peace.

Published on March 7, 2010 in Day Job! and Nicole Peeler. 3 Comments

When My Ears Burn, It HAS To Be Good . . .

For this Monday I thought I’d fire off a couple of recommendations. One is a film and one is a novel, but what both have in common is some of the most creative, hilarious use of vulgar language I’ve heard in quite some time.

As you’ve probably already figured out, I have a bit of a potty mouth. And by “a bit” I mean a rat infested sewer of a mouth. As a wee little girl from Niddrie (a council estate near Edinburgh) told my friend, in a lovely Scottish accent, no less: “I love swearing. It’s fucking great.”

I come from a family of swearers, I am a swearer, and many of my friends are swearers . . . so when I find something that shocks me–that reminds me of the power of a truly inspired bit of obscenity–it’s gotta be pretty extreme.

Therefore, if you don’t like swearing, never, ever go near the following film, although this theatrical trailer is (relatively) clean:

The film is In the Loop and it’s up for an Oscar. All I know is it’s one of the best films I’ve seen in years. On a superficial level, it is utterly, absolutely entertaining. I laughed through the entire film, as did all of my friends. I want to see it again because not only were the lines so rapidly delivered, but everyone in the theater was laughing so hard, at times, that it was hard to hear. It felt like I sat down, started laughing, and then suddenly it was all over, leaving me wanting more.

That said, the film is also brilliant, with one of the bleakest, most frightening portrayals of modern politics I’ve ever seen. It’s easy to miss, simply because you’re too busy watching the characters tear around insulting everyone. But underneath all that humor, In the Loops suggests that modern politics are still as much about ego, competitiveness, and personal aggrandizement as Shakespeare depicted them in King Lear. Only the weapons have changed, making the stakes so very much higher and deadlier.

With fantastic performances all around, and a storyline that works on a number of levels, I can’t recommend In The Loop enough.

And speaking of King Lear, my second recommendation is Christopher Moore’s The Fool:

Bawdy and irresistible, this is another story that works on two levels. I was pinging from one image to another (little man in a canoe!) and reveling in the language of this work, but meanwhile the literary academic in me was squealing over the layers of allusions to various Shakespeare productions. I adored this book, as did all of the ladies in my book club. And it wasn’t just the Chatham Artillery Punch, talking, either!

So if you’re bored this weekend, try to get your hands on either of these fantastic works. Due to the Oscar nod, In the Loop is back in theaters (especially independents) the Fool is coming out in paperback any second. Both will floor you with their use of language, but also with their wit and intelligence. Filthy AND smart . . . it’s a combination I find absolutely irresistible. ;-)

And just because I’m in the mood for a little heinous fuckery,* here’s a picture of my trifle:

IMG_0406

The song was, indeed, originally, “my trifle brings all the boys to the yard,” till that bitch changed it.

Fuckstockings!*

*For true heinous fuckery in action, you have to read The Fool

*Ditto

Published on March 1, 2010 in Movies, Pimpage!, Reviews and Urban Fantasy. 15 Comments Tags: , , , , , .